


Torn Apart By Words

by QueenOfNewOrleans22



Category: Guns N' Roses
Genre: Angst, Feels, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-21
Updated: 2020-09-21
Packaged: 2021-03-07 18:54:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,244
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26582479
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QueenOfNewOrleans22/pseuds/QueenOfNewOrleans22
Summary: Slash decides that it's finally take to let go of Axl, and goes to see him one last time.
Relationships: Axl Rose/Slash | Saul Hudson
Comments: 6
Kudos: 11





	Torn Apart By Words

"What the _fuck_ are you talking about?" Axl said. 

Slash shrugged, playing with his frayed edges of his sleeves. 

For a long, tense moment, they both stared at each other, shock and confusion, heartache and fear, all written down into the story that was true lives. It shouldn't be ending like this, but it was only to be expected. 

"What do you- are you- what is going on?" Axl was having a hard time formulating words, and forcing them out to hang empty in the small hotel room that they were staying in. "I swear to God, if you don't tell me what's going on then- fuck." He sat down heavily on the bed, torn between anger and sadness. 

This whole fucking thing was a nightmare, and it was playing out like a movie. 

Slash swallowed thickly, trying to gather his errant thoughts. "You don't love me, Axl. I know you don't." He said, soft and quiet, but there was something forceful about his tone that suggested a final stand-off between them, like cowboys on either sides of town, about to shoot each other dead. "Don't lie and say you do, because it won't sway me, man. I'm sorry." 

Axl scoffed, standing back up and beginning to pace back and forth around the room, arms crossed tightly over his chest. "I can't believe you're doing this to me." And then he paused, as if thinking about what was happening. "You're leaving me, all because of something that I said in passing, something that doesn't even matter? You're going to throw all of it away, just like that?" Axl said, obviously still angry, but slowly faltering as more time went on. 

"It's not that." Slash said. 

"Then _what?"_ Axl demanded, coming to a stop in front of where Slash was sitting, hunched in his chair, trying to figure everything out because his mind was racing and there was no calming it. "Why are you just throwing it all away?" The singer whispered, and it was clear how much the whole conversation was hurting him. 

Slash took a deep breathe. "Because I don't want to spend the rest of my life with somebody who is only with me for the sex." He said, and then Slash reached into his pocket, digging through keys and loose change, before pulling out a piece of paper, folded neatly. Slash held it out, and Axl leaned toward, grabbing the paper more roughly than probably intended. 

It didn't matter, none of it did. Axl would read the words, written on creased paper, and he would get angry, but mixed in with that anger would be sadness, because everything was falling apart right before his very eyes. Slash was going to leave, because he was a coward, and couldn't stand to watch as the world crumbled. 

He stood up. 

There was no telling what was about to happen, and Slash couldn't bear to stand witness anymore. He was tired, and the hotel room didn't feel welcoming anymore. "I'm sorry, Axl." Slash said, one more time, the old roundabout, before he leaved, guitar case in hand, and heart heavier than ever. 

\- 

_Dear Axl,_

_Is that the proper way to begin a letter? Or is it too formal to begin the end? Izzy says that it doesn't matter, but it does, and my mind is racing and my heart is pounding so fast that I feel like it's about to leap from my chest like one of those aliens._

_-_

Axl sat on the bed, reading the letter, stoic, but not quite calm. 

Slash collapsed in the alleyway outside, shaking with sobs. 

\- 

_But I suppose that I have to get on with this letter, and stop the needless suffering._

_-_

Somehow, Axl knew what had been about to happen as soon as the man he had once held close opened the door, and said that they'd needed to talk. But no way had Axl expected it to hurt so much, because it hadn't hurt before with his exes, but, then again, he hadn't loved them as much as he'd loved Slash, like an all-encompassing feeling of devotion, of pride, of a pure, infatuated love for another human that seemed almost supernatural in its power. 

But that love had gone unnoticed. 

\- 

_When I first met you, I was in awe, and that sounds stupid, I know, but hear me out- you sounded like a fucking demon, but looked like an angel, and all of my thoughts just went out the door and were replaced by just YOU._

_-_

Slash buried his face in his hands, and let the sorrow wash over him like a tidal wave. 

There was hurt, and pain, buried deep in his chest. There was a deep heartache over what he'd just done, but also there was a sense of freedom, of a sense of self. Slash didn't know if that was good or bad, if it was right or wrong, but that was for him to decide. He could breathe, and there was no oppressing force weighing him down anymore. 

\- 

_I fell in love, and I'm not ashamed to admit it, but truth be told, I don't think you feel the same way. I don't think you ever felt the same way._

_You said it yourself- I am not somebody who can be loved._

_Do you know how much that hurt? How much it still hurts? When you said it, just like that, like it didn't matter, I felt so worthless, so unloved. People that love somebody don't tell that person things like that._

_And then I went to go see Duff. I sought comfort and some sort of love, platonic as it might be. I didn't do anything else, Axl. He hugged me and told me that it was okay to feel angry, okay to feel anything that I wanted. And you know what, Axl? It felt good to finally be loved, and comforted, instead of just tossed aside like I didn't even matter._

_Yet when I returned, you called me a slut, and accused me of sleeping with Duff. I'm not sure what words hurt worse, and you know what? It's sad that I have to think about that, and ponder over whether being told that I am unlovable or a slut was more hurtful._

_-_

The remembrance of those words, cruel and hurtful, struck Axl like a slap. 

He had said those things, accused Slash of sleeping around, called him unlovable, and yet, Slash had stuck around, until it'd all became too much. 

\- 

_And so-_

_I'm leaving._

_I don't quite know where I'm going, or what I will do. GnR has provided me with laughter and happiness, but I am moving on. Duff is staying. Don't be mad at him. He didn't convince me to leave, or to break up with you. He just told me to do what's best for myself, and that nothing else matters but that._

_I'm sorry for what it's worth. I love you Axl, and those feelings won't fade, but happiness does._

_Goodbye, Axl._

_Sincerely, Saul H._

_-_

What do you do, when the only person who has ever loved you with all their heart, leaves? 

Axl didn't know, and so he just sat there, numb, but with silent tears of misery falling down his face. 

\- 

Slash stood up, feeling okay for the first time in what felt like forever. 

He didn't quite know where he was going, but Duff's house seemed like a good place to start. 


End file.
